asperatus cloud x
IT’S LIKE WATCHING THE WAVES ABOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN
MY MOM DECIDED THAT SINCE I FUCKING HATE CLEANING THE LITTERBOX FOR MY DUMB CATS SHE’S ACTUALLY MAKE ME A FUCKING LITTERBOX CAKE. THIS IS A FUCKING CAKE. THOSE ARE SLIGHTLY MELTED TOOTSIE ROLLS. THOSE ARE LOTS OF COOKIE CRUMBLES. BUT IT LOOKS FUCKING REAL. I ATE THIS IN A RESTAURANT. I RECIEVED WORRIED STARES FROM OTHER PATRONS AS I FEASTED UPON FUCKING CAT POOP. MY BABY SISTER REFUSED TO LET ME EAT THE TOOTSIE ROLLS BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CONVINCED IT WAS POOP, SHE RIPPED IT OUT OF MY HANDS AND THREW IT BACK IT THE PAN.
"SISSY!" SOMEONE WAS LOOKING ON HORRIFIED AS SHE GRABBED THE DISTURBING LOOKING CANDY OUT OF MY HAND. "DONT EAT POOP SISSY!"
a li tter box cae k„
congratulations on turning 91
Six-Word Stories That Are Absolutely Heart-Breaking
OH MY GOD.
You forgot the original six-word memoir by Hemingway - “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”
Gooey Cheeseburger & Tater Tots
The Woman Against Feminism Twitter is my favorite.
there is literally no difference between academic scholars discussing their interpretations of a text and a bunch of people yelling YOUR HEADCANON IS WRONG at each other
As a Masters student I can vouch for this.The difference is citations.
Grown-ups are weird. [via]
Photo credit: Simon Chandra
FUN FACT: These eggs are evil. Octopus babies are evil. Let me tell you why. The octopus mother lays her eggs in a cave roof and spends 6 months guarding them from potential predators and swaying the eggs with her tentacle so they get oxygen. This means she doesn’t eat or sleep until they hatch. When the octopus babies hatch, she dies from fatigue and starvation. THEN THEY FUCKING EAT HER. THEY EAT THEIR MOTHER WHO DIED BECAUSE SHE WAS LOOKING AFTER THEM. THEY. EAT. HER.
This sounds like what my mother said i did to her
So true it hurts a little.
Phantom of the Opurrah
me whenever my plane lands.
^ all the feels
SO SOME ASSHOLE GOT HOLD OF MY PHONE AND CHANGE ALL MY CONTACT NAMES, ICONS AND RINGTONES TO THIS FUCKING THING
SO NOW WHENEVER I GET A CALL MY PHONE THINKS IT’S BEING ALL CUTE LIKE “it is a mystery” FUCK YOU MAN
This is a blessed post and that ringtone is the cutest thing BUT I CAN NEVER FIND THE FUCKING POST FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS
i want someone to do this to my phone
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